#30 For dear friends who are always there to cover my family in prayer when we need it most.
#31 For a stash of change in the back of a drawer just in time!
#32 For the way my 4 year old can knock my socks off putting together puzzles on the computer
#33 For the awesome look in her eyes when I told her that I do and will always think she is CRAZY AMAZING!
#34 For the way my 2 year old just hung on my shoulder and said, "Just rock me Mom" after she had woken up and called for me tonight.
#35 For the way my husband still loves me through all we are going through!
#36 For the way I still love my husband through all we are going through!
#37 That knowing he loves me is the only thing keeping me going right now!!
#38 For the way that my girls sat still and listened for seemingly forever today while I read Psalm after Psalm after Psalm and cried out to God Almighty.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
April 30, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
April 25, 2008
#26 for the way Aly can make Lili laugh...it bubbles up from her toes.
#27 the way Aly walks Lili to the nursery at night when it is time for bed in an attempt to keep her from crying too much. She holds her hand and talks to her and tells her that it is okay and not to cry.
#28 the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen each morning. I do NOT drink coffee...I think it is nasty, but the smell of it is pure heaven to my senses!!! Dad, I'm glad you drink coffee!!
#29 The way the house slowly comes alive in the mornings, not all at once...but one step at a time.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
April 22, 2008
#21 that my children love cantaloupe and I have to make them stop when they get to the green part of the rind!!
#23 how my dog sleeps on her bed at the foot of our bed until early morning when she gets cold and I feel her cold wet nose by my face as she roots to get under the covers and snuggle close to me until morning. WHEW...was that a run on sentence or what???
#24 that when I announce, "get your shoes on...we're going to the park" my daughters act like I have just given them a million dollars!!!
#25 how my girls say, with tears in their eyes, "Mommy...I miss Daddy...when are we going home??" when they are ready to go home from wherever we are.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
April 19, 2008
#20 Okay...this thankful moment is in the form of a story...bear with me
Rough morning here at the Swindler household. Lots of stuff hit at once and David was in a foul mood to say the very least. The conversation on our front porch was bitter at best, and totally depressing!! comments, options, not-so-much options, solutions...all offered out of fear, rage, complete mental exhaustion from trying to figure it out. It was going nowhere but down. Aly came outside in the middle of it and in a wild attempt to change the tone and content for her ears I asked her to recite her bible verse for her Daddy. (The verse is "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10)
She smiled and looked at her Daddy-man and said, "Hold still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10" The tears began to roll from both of our eyes. Aly always has an amazing way of saying just the right thing at just the right time.
God just steam rolled right over all of it out of the mouth of my 4 year old!!!!
I am so thankful for her very life!!! She is the most amazing child I have ever known and I am so blessed that she calles ME Mommy!!!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
April 17, 2008
#16 For beautiful spring days outside with my girls enjoying God's creation. While Aly was running around out in the yard I asked her if she could see anything out there that God had made. She made a wierd face and said, "Mom...God made it all!!"
How right you are baby girl!!! How right you are!!!
#17 For opportunities to teach my girls to share without being so uptight that I lose my cool with them.
#18 For moments and glimpses of God's amazing plans for my girls...and the hope that I am included in them!
#19 That Aly likes to be dressed up and all frou-frou on one hand, but digging in the dirt in the front yard makes her equally as happy a little girl!!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
April 15, 2008
#15 That with the morning comes the realization that the Orange Crayon situation is not as bad as it looked yesterday!! Most of the crayon came off and what stayed behind is mostly on play clothes anyway.
#16 That the remaining orange crayon will always be a reminder to me to check pockets VERY carefully!!!
#17 That we filed our taxes MONTHS ago and weren't in a panic over the last few days dealing with that!!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
April 14, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
April 13, 2008
#7 the fact that I now have the cold that has been running through our house for the last week. Maybe now my husband will give me some time off today!!!
#8 Elderberry syrup...it really helps with cold/flu symptoms!!
#9 my sweet little Lili-bug...who gets so excited when she wakes up in the mornings and hollers at the top of her lungs "MAHHHHHHMEEEEE!" When I come in the room she smiles as she is jumping up and down in her crib..."I ed-ee to et up now"
#10 my amazing Aly...who always finds me in the morning and crawls up into my arms and says, "I missed you last night Mom" while she twirls my hair with her sweet little hands.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
April 12,2008
6-Our Virus software expired on our computers today. David didn't realize that the subscription had run out. He was very frustrated at having to pay out that money today and we hadn't planned on it.
I am thankful that we had the money to renew it!!! God is good and He always provides!!
Friday, April 11, 2008
April 11, 2008
5-I am thankful for frozen turkey burgers , mushroom veggie burgers and a box of macaroni and cheese...and that my husband and my kids will actually eat them!! Okay...so i did fix some steamed broccoli as well!!
April 11, 2008
1- I am thankful that my mother chose to stay home and raise me instead of persuing her own end. As I look at her picture on my desk, I am reminded of all that she sacrificed to teach me all that she did. I am so blessed!!
2-I am thankful that even in the midst of all that is going on, my husband believes and agrees that regardless of it all, I WILL be staying home and raising our children.
3-I am thankful for my children, even though they are driving me crazy right at this moment. So many things to work on!!
4-I am thankful for my husband and the fact that he still puts up with me no matter how many times I screw it up!!
Sizzling in the wok...
I feel like we have been in the bottom of this huge wok...stirfrying away...for so long now!! Some days it is a struggle to put one foot in front of the other...many days are filled with fists shaking in the air at God for leaving us (HA!)...often times tears are the only emotion I can muster...other times anger, fear, frustration, disbelief, questioning, anger...did I mention ANGER...fill my thoughts and come out of my person all over whom ever is closest. That is usually David or my beautiful daughters. Something HAS to give here!! I can't live like this anymore!!!
Obviously God has not abandonded us
Obviously God is still in control
Obviously I am the one who has gotten too far away from God!!!
So...what do I do about it?
Well, I guess the easiest thing is to start spending more time with him...DUH...but I feel too angry for even that right now. My heart is in desperate need of softening after the year of hardening I have come through. I have walls built up to protect my heart and my head. I have walls built up to protect my children. I have walls built up to protect my marriage. I have walls built up to protect everything that is precious to me. The only problem with this contstruction project is that instead of protecting those things, I have simply walled them off and the weeds are growing at at steady pace!! So...
I have decided to put into practice an "attitude of Gratitude"
It may be quite superficial at first until my heart loosens up a bit, but you have to start somewhere, right?? As I start to let go of my grip on my own life, I look forward to God taking hold in a mighty way!!!!
Stay tuned and watch the miracle take place!!
In HIS Mighty Grip
Shelley
