OH....SO very thankful today!!!

#42 - I am so very very thankful for my two beautiful daughters. I am thankful for their health, for their very life, for how they make me feel when I watch them sleeping, how they make me feel when I watch them arguing!! :-) How they make me feel just to know they are alive on this planet and that God chose me to be their mother!!!!

My heart is breaking for the Steven Curtis Chapman family today. They have lost their youngest precious gift of God. I cannot even imagine the grief. I cannot imagine.

~God...please hug this family extra close through this tragedy. Show them your grace, love and strength in a MIGHTY way today!!!~

trying to be thankful today...a note to God.

Dear God...
So much crashing down...so much not making sense...so many questions...why God?


Thank you for the trials!

Thank you for the upheaval!

Thank you for the confusion!

Thank you for the tension!

Thank you for the heartache!

Thank you for the tears!

Thank you for the fear!

Thank you for the pit in the center of my stomach!

Thank you for the black cloud that is bearing down on us!

Thank you for the feelings of utter despair and not knowing what next round of heartache tomorrow will bring!!

Thank you for not letting us drop dead in the middle of it from the shear stress!
I know it will all bring you glory some how...some time...

I wish I knew the outcome.

I wish I knew when it would end.

But I thank you in the meantime!!

Thank you for the email from someone that I will get telling me how all that we have endured over the last 19 months has sustained them through something!! I guess that is your purpose in all of this. I hope that it is at least part of it!!!

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge inthe shadow of your wings until this disaster has passed. I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me!

Psalms 57:1-2

But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield. Psalms 5:11-12

But you are a sheild around me O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry alooud, and he answers me from his Holy hill. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me . Psalms 3:3-5

May 6, 2008

#38 for today. My dear husband and I are celebrating 13 years of marriage. I'd do it all over again baby!!!!

#39 watching my girls play together in the front yard. They love each other so much!

#40 Watching Aly's amazment at something as simple as an Ant bed. She could squat and watch it for hours on end!!

#41 Seeing things fresh and anew just by watching my girls discover the world around them...one ant, twig, leaf and blade of grass at a time.

April 30, 2008

#30 For dear friends who are always there to cover my family in prayer when we need it most.
#31 For a stash of change in the back of a drawer just in time!
#32 For the way my 4 year old can knock my socks off putting together puzzles on the computer
#33 For the awesome look in her eyes when I told her that I do and will always think she is CRAZY AMAZING!
#34 For the way my 2 year old just hung on my shoulder and said, "Just rock me Mom" after she had woken up and called for me tonight.
#35 For the way my husband still loves me through all we are going through!
#36 For the way I still love my husband through all we are going through!
#37 That knowing he loves me is the only thing keeping me going right now!!
#38 For the way that my girls sat still and listened for seemingly forever today while I read Psalm after Psalm after Psalm and cried out to God Almighty.

April 25, 2008

#26 for the way Aly can make Lili laugh...it bubbles up from her toes.
#27 the way Aly walks Lili to the nursery at night when it is time for bed in an attempt to keep her from crying too much. She holds her hand and talks to her and tells her that it is okay and not to cry.
#28 the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen each morning. I do NOT drink coffee...I think it is nasty, but the smell of it is pure heaven to my senses!!! Dad, I'm glad you drink coffee!!
#29 The way the house slowly comes alive in the mornings, not all at once...but one step at a time.

April 22, 2008

#21 that my children love cantaloupe and I have to make them stop when they get to the green part of the rind!!

#23 how my dog sleeps on her bed at the foot of our bed until early morning when she gets cold and I feel her cold wet nose by my face as she roots to get under the covers and snuggle close to me until morning. WHEW...was that a run on sentence or what???

#24 that when I announce, "get your shoes on...we're going to the park" my daughters act like I have just given them a million dollars!!!

#25 how my girls say, with tears in their eyes, "Mommy...I miss Daddy...when are we going home??" when they are ready to go home from wherever we are.

April 19, 2008

#20 Okay...this thankful moment is in the form of a story...bear with me

Rough morning here at the Swindler household. Lots of stuff hit at once and David was in a foul mood to say the very least. The conversation on our front porch was bitter at best, and totally depressing!! comments, options, not-so-much options, solutions...all offered out of fear, rage, complete mental exhaustion from trying to figure it out. It was going nowhere but down. Aly came outside in the middle of it and in a wild attempt to change the tone and content for her ears I asked her to recite her bible verse for her Daddy. (The verse is "Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10)
She smiled and looked at her Daddy-man and said, "Hold still and know that I am God...Psalm 46:10" The tears began to roll from both of our eyes. Aly always has an amazing way of saying just the right thing at just the right time.
God just steam rolled right over all of it out of the mouth of my 4 year old!!!!
I am so thankful for her very life!!! She is the most amazing child I have ever known and I am so blessed that she calles ME Mommy!!!